♥ ; Tuesday, February 23, 2010
最美的不是下雨天,是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐
mmm. been drifting ard for months
in fact, more than a year yeah?
ever since that particular incident.
in my mind, all i wanna know and hav is to enjoy.
just
e-n-j-o-y.and, yes, i got lost in the midst of it.
back then, in my mind, there is only one purpose.
expand social circle, get back all my friends that i lost
indulge in things that didn seem as right by the others.
yes, time suddenly sped forward, things were going fast, life was awesome.
but, somehow, something is lacking somewhere.
every now and then, everything felt
vapid.
*
*
*
sometimes i asked myself, wtf m i doing.
wtf i want. and
(*snap) i got distracted.
by yet another indulgement.
ppl came and went. things happened.
i regretted.
BUT luckily im smart enough to not let go of ppl that are tremendously impt t me. ((:
*
*
*
during those moment, i did things according to what i want.
hurt someone. took some float i saw drifting around.
ruin a friendship which would be perfectly fine if i didn lost my sense then.
*
*
*
i can see her doing it. the same thing i did back then.
trying all means to get up.
numbing oneself.
well, it took me long enough eh?
and yes, i can see you doing the exact same thing.
hah. the people that got lost in the midst of hurt and indulgement.
mix it up. u get the blend im trying to describe here.
*
*
*
i dun deny that i enjoyed it.
mad enjoyed it.
infact i wanna cont enjoying it.
but, i hav recovered didn i?
from now, it should be an enjoyment rather than.
the excuse, that its a
healing valve.its a
scar now.
a
scar that reminds.
not a
wound that hurt.
*
*
*
im guilty. no matter whether m i at fault.
i didn know. so in a way.
iam deem as the innocent.
now. people who are hurting right now.
infact 9/10 ppl that hav access t my blog are busy healing themselves.
not that i gave 10 ppl access. infact, i think. only 5 hav access. LOL!ok. stop digressing.
people who aare hurting right now.
always believe in this.
everyone can live without someone.everyone can be happy without THAT someone.its hard. but its this particular one. that helped me walk out.
embrace this thought.
wad's yours will be yours. no matter wad.i forgotten this in the midst of everything.
i forgotten this when i love too hard.
i forgotten this when i hurt too hard.
and i f regret.
*
life is
awesome now.
life is
awesome for everyone.
as long as you know in your heart.
what makes you happy. what doesn make you happy.
and what lost the power to make you happy.
chunk those out of your life.
seek for what will make you
smile again.
*
it's time i look at that scar and be
reminded of the pain.
allow the
memory rush.
and
not looking at it like im
still hurting.
*
time like this, i wanna a long bath. such indulgement should be indulge in more often. ((:*in the midst of removing a bandage which has been kept far too long.
Labels: random, space_out
♥ 2:30 AM,
♥ is complicated and it's not mine to grasp.
